My entire life I’ve struggled with my self-worth. I never felt pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, or talented enough. I would overcompensate my insecurities with being loud and obnoxious, looking for a laugh or a high five. In the midst of that, I came across as intimidating, confident, and unapproachable. Because of this I have been misunderstood the majority of the time.
I’ve had coaches, teachers, pastors, friends, and family all say at one time or another, “If you could only see what I see!” I had read the books, heard the sermons, listened to the music, and went to the conferences. I have even stood on platforms teaching hundreds of teenagers at a time about their worth and how much God loved them and had plan for them. Time and time again, I would cry and repent for the negative self talk. But nothing really ever changed. I would constantly say, “If I could just get the knowledge to go from my head to my heart! It is so close, but the distance feels so far!” I would feel defeated and discouraged all at the same time.
Then September 23rd happened. Yes, 5 days ago, September 23rd. God began to speak through an unlikely source. He wanted to make it so clear that it was Him that He used someone that doesn’t know me well to speak things over me that she had no idea I needed to hear. That was just the beginning of an intense few days where Jesus continually spoke life to my spirit. Bringing freedom that I had lost hope to ever receive. I have a hard head and since God created me, He knows that, but He is persistent and His love and grace penetrated my soul, mind, and heart. I will never be the same again.
I think that so many times we look at ourselves in the mirror and our perspective of ourselves is so far off from the truth. We see our inadequacies, we see our “deformities”, we see where we are lacking, and we see our failures. God’s heart breaks. He weeps over us. He wants us so badly to see ourselves like He sees us. But until we make that distance from our heads to our hearts, we will not find freedom. Here is the tricky part, we can’t make the distance on our own. It is a journey where we intentionally press into Jesus, drowning out all of the negative voices…including our own!
Comparison is the thief of joy. Nothing good ever comes out of it and yet social media makes it so easy to slip into. Outlets for our peers to post what looks good and polished. Not the real life, the bad days, the numbers on the scale, the messy house, the screaming at our kids, or the arguing with our spouses or significant others. We look away from Instagram or Facebook feeling less than.
Without the truth of who we are in Jesus burned into our hearts and minds, we will get lost, never really knowing true contentment.
Enough is enough! Stop the lies! Surround yourself with people that speak life and encouragement into you. Create boundaries with people who tear you down. Most of all, soak in all that Jesus has to say to you. YOU are His child! YOU are His joy! YOU have purpose! This life needs YOU and YOUR gifts.
What are the lies that you have been believing? What is holding you back from getting out of bed in the morning? Love yourself enough to do whatever it takes to make the distance to your heart. Call an encouraging friend or family member. Put on some worship music. Go to a church. Join a Bible study. Dust off the Bible. Sit in the silence and tell God that you are not going to move until you hear from Him. He is faithful. He is good.
The more of us that can make the distance, the more freedom there will be in our lives and through our lives for others! Think of the freedom passed down to our kids and our kid’s kids…Victory is ours, we just need to take it and run with it!