February 10th came and went. Just as recommended by the the social worker, it was ruled for Molly to be reunified with her birth mom.

Our community has been incredible through this entire process. The morning of the hearing 2 of my close friends each took one baby while Weiland was at school. Jason and I were able to hike to the cross, talk, pray, and process. After our hike we had an awesome breakfast. Just us. It was perfect way to spend the morning.

Molly’s mom is amazing. She is selfless and hard working. She loves Jesus and she is pursuing Him with her whole heart. It is beautiful to watch her persistency with Him. Her love for this precious baby girl is beyond obvious. I have grown to really love her and enjoy my time with her. We text daily and get along well when we see each other. Everything about this entire situation is miraculous. God’s hand is all over it.

Although the judge ruled to reunify Molly with her birth mom, her mom has chosen to leave the baby with us until her apartment becomes available. Just another example of her selfless love. She doesn’t want to move Molly more times than necessary. So every day off from work she has, she takes Molly for the day.

The day after the hearing I was sitting in church and during the message, the pastor said, “You can trust God in the dark.” This is an uncharted territory for us. I cannot predict or see what tomorrow holds, but I don’t have to. My Captain will guide me in these open seas! When we got home from church that night, Dubs called me and Jason outside to look at the moon. It was so beautiful! So beautiful I took out my phone to take a picture. Through the lens of my camera on my phone was this picture:

There wasn’t a cross to my naked eye or in the lens of the iPad, just my phone. As I was staring at the picture, Jesus whispered so gently to me, “You can trust Me in the dark.”  He continually speaks, comforts, and carries me. He is SO good. He can be trusted. The dark has nothing on Him!

I don’t know about you, but knowing that my God can be trusted in the dark gives me such peace, confidence, strength, and joy. He offers you the same! Does it feel dark for you in your life? In your marriage? Parenting? Work? Finances? Health?

One day at a time, friends. Look to the cross and be reminded that your BIG, LOVING, and CAPABLE God can be trusted in the unknown. He loves you. He delights in you. He cares about the details in your life. He wants to meet you in the dark and walk hand in hand guiding you.

Will you take His hand and let Him lead you through the unknown?  You should, He’s a good guide 🙂

This girl…she is so amazing she gets her own post. I met Savannah the summer before she was going into her sophomore year of high school. She was one of the brave ones to ever take a Vantage class. (Short lived organization that I started to teach teens about their worth and sex education)

We had JUST been place with Weiland and she wrote me the sweetest message on Facebook to tell me that she would love to babysit him anytime and she didn’t want us to pay her. She just wanted to help us. Being that she was 14 and it was my first child, I was so touched but scared to really leave him with anyone at all.

A little while later my friend Rachel and I decided to start a small group for sophomore girls and so we asked Savannah to join. What I noticed about Savannah was that she was SO sweet, quiet, attentive, and had the best little laugh! After just a couple weeks I knew after watching her mature and sweet demeanor, she could be trusted with Weiland. This began one of the most rewarding relationships in my life yet.

We met Nanners 5 years ago. In the last 5 years we have grown to love her like our own. She is apart of the Shafer family..whether she likes it or not 🙂

This girl LOVES Jesus. This girl loves those around her so well. She is kind. Gentle. Selfless. Generous. She is funny. She is passionate about showing the hurt, lost, and broken God’s heart for them.

Three weeks from today our Nanners will be coming home from a 5 month mission trip with YWAM. (Youth With A Mission) She spent the first 3 months in the UK and then she has been in Peru for almost 2 months. She is about $500.00 short in paying for her school. I would love to help her pay that off before she comes home so that she doesn’t get here with that debt over her head when she doesn’t have a job yet.

So, I come to you, my kind and amazing and generous readers 🙂 If you find it in your hearts to help this amazing girl out, you can click here and it will take you to her blog where you can read about her time with YWAM as well as donate.

I know that money is hard earned and I wouldn’t come to you to ask you to give if I didn’t 100% believe in my girl and the work she is doing!

Thank you for linking arms with me on this!

Weiland has always been a source of laughter, energy, and crazy smarts. He started crawling at 4 months, talking at 8 months, and taught himself how to swim at 2 years old. Because he is my oldest, I didn’t have first hand experience of what was normal or not. I would always have people tell me how smart he was or how busy he was, but I didn’t know any different so I would just smile and say, “Thank you.”

Weiland’s birth mom did meth amongst several other drugs while she was pregnant with him. We have always been told by doctors that if there weren’t any immediate effects at birth, they would probably surface once he entered school. At that time it is very common to see the signs of ADHD in children that have been exposed to meth in utero.

When Dubs was 3 years old we had him evaluated by an incredible licensed educational psychologist named, Brent Cooper.  He spent so much time with us and Weiland. He was kind and patient and extremely knowledgeable. Because Weiland was only 3 years old, ALL BOY, and had just lost his foster sister, we all decided that it would be best to just watch him and then see how he did once he started Transitional Kindergarten.

Anyone who knows my Dubster, knows what life he brings into a room. He is the most confident and independent 5 year old that I have ever met. He is fearless. He is brave. He is hilarious and creative. He is stubborn. He is strong-willed. He never stops, unless he is sleeping 🙂

I can’t tell you how many tears I have shed over the feelings of failure, frustration, and discouragement over parenting this sweet boy.

Recently as Jesus has been speaking to me that my kids are the disciples that I need to focus on making, there has been a new excitement that has surfaced when it comes to parenting my kids. Especially Dubs, since he is older and interactive.

This month I decided that once a month we will go on a date, just Weiland and I. We will get dressed up and he will pick where he wants to go to dinner. We went a couple weeks ago and it was amazing. He talked about it ALL day. He picked out his clothes, showered, and made sure daddy helped him smell good for me. He then made up a song and sang it into my phone so that we would have a “date song”. He responded so positively to that date that I realized it needs to be regular. We have our next one scheduled for March 15th and he wants to go to Islands 🙂

I had his parent teacher conference yesterday. His teacher confirmed everything that I already knew..He is kind. He has a big heart. He is funny. He is confident. He is independent. He is a “genius” with the computers. He LOVES to talk. He has a short attention span. He is busy. His teacher and I got talking about ways to explore helping his energy level and attention span. We came up with an idea to experiment. I immediately left the conference to get him a bottle of Mountain Dew. You should have seen his face when he was told this morning that he got to have soda with his breakfast! 🙂 It worked! He didn’t get in trouble today! WHAT?! Mountain Dew to my 5 year old before he heads off to school calmed him down!? PRAISE JESUS! 🙂

All of us have different children. Even those of us with multiple children, they each have their own temperament. What works on one may not and will probably not work on the other. All I do know is that you know your child better than anyone. You know them better than your best friend, your parents, your siblings, and/or the lady judging you with an evil eye at Target while your child is having a melt down laying in the middle of the aisle. There is nothing that can replace a mother’s instinct. It can cause you to jump up and go check on your kid in the other room just as they are shoving a lego head up their nostril. We just know.

The next time you feel pressure about……

• Which school to put your kid in
• What kind of food to feed him/her
• When he/she should be sleeping through the night,
• How old they are potty trained
• If they are still using a pacifier or bottle,
• Why or why don’t you have a structured system in place
• Do they know their letters and colors
• Are they walking yet
• How many words do they know

Stop! Remember.. Momma knows! YOU know your child. As long as you love your babies and they are happy and well taken care of, you are good! Don’t let pressures steal your joy of being the best momma possible to the little ones God has entrusted you with! Live today, in the present. We are doing the best that we know how and Jesus will meet us in our inadequacies.

You were given your children. No one else, YOU are who God picked to raise you kids..Love yourself, shake the pressures off, and take your kid to Rite aid for the best ice cream cone on the planet 🙂

Magic Mondays. They were exactly what it sounds like. Every Monday, after Jason and I would drop off Weiland to daycare, we would head over to Wilma & Frieda’s. (Best breakfast in the desert) After about an hour and a half of delicious food, amazing coffee, and good conversation we would head home. Jason would go on a long ride and I would either get a pedicure or just have some quiet time at home. We would then come back together in the afternoon to do some kind of job around the house. I’ll admit it, Mondays were my favorite day of the week. Yes, my favorite day of the week did not include my son. Just keeping it real 🙂

Jason and I didn’t always have Magic Mondays. Once Weiland came into our lives, it turned us upside down. I never knew how selfish I really was until I became a mom. By far the hardest adjustment for me was going from no kids to 1 kid. Then I struggled with so much guilt since I wanted a baby so bad, and then complained so much once he came…that’s for another post at another time 🙂

We had been married 5 years without kids so we had a routine of spontaneity and doing what we wanted, when we wanted. Double income and no kids meant awesome vacations,  coffee dates, hanging late at night with friends, and then of course, sleeping in just to name a few amazing realities when you don’t have children.

When Dub’s turned about 18 months old it hit Jason and I that we needed to date again. And, then Magic Monday was born. It was during this season that I realized the importance of dating our spouse. Weiland is now 5 and now that we have multiple kids it is no longer financially responsible for us to do Magic Mondays. But, dating has not stopped. We make it a point to go on a date at least once a week. It may be breakfast, coffee, or a hike. It doesn’t matter what it is, what matters is that we have that time to connect without the distraction of the kids.

I get it, life gets busy. Sports, work, homework, and/or church consume our days. If we don’t make our marriages a priority we may survive, but we will not thrive. I know for me, outside of the Lord, my marriage is my most important relationship and I have to take care of it as best as I can. Right now we are in a really busy season. REALLY BUSY. Because of this, I knew I had to fight hard to make sure Jason and I don’t lose our weekly date. Because of this I will text one of our sitters the beginning of the week and ask her when she is available for the week. Then I will pick one of her available times and make that our date.

I know that if you are married and reading this, you know that marriage is hard. It is SO HARD. Because of this, we need to do everything in our power to make it and keep it a priority. You may be thinking, “I don’t have money for a babysitter or to go on a date.” It doesn’t have to be anything expensive. Two hours would be $20-$30 for a sitter. Then you can go on a hike, a walk, a drive, or maybe just go and get coffee. You will be a better parent if you and your spouse are doing well.

Life is too short to be too busy for those we love. Take care of yourself and take care of your marriage. Nothing good ever comes out of neglect.

So, pick up your phone. Text a sitter. Schedule a date. Let me know how it goes! 🙂

I think that so many times we want to rush the pain in life. We want the quick fix. We want the magic numbing potion. Or…. maybe not, maybe it’s just me 🙂

I know that in the last 10 years I have walked through some crap. Some really excruciating, lonely, and heavy crap.

• Severe anxiety and depression that led to being on disability
• Miscarriage
• 12 months of unsuccessful and STRESSFUL failed fertility treatments
• 8 years of infertility
• Saying good bye to our sweet Bella
• Broken relationships
• Food addiction
• Tough patches in marriage
• Loneliness
• Continually being misunderstood

As I have walked through these hard times, I have responded in various ways. Some helpful and some not so helpful. But, what I have learned is that even though life is extremely unpredictable and always changing, God is constant and unchanging. Even if we respond in a way that may not reflect His character, He never stops loving us. He never stops cheering us on. He never stops dusting us off and helping us up. He is such a gentleman. So patient, kind, gracious, and loving.

So, as I sit here the eve of the court hearing where a judge will put her stamp of approval on my little Mo Mo to go into her birth mom’s care, I am filled with hope, peace, strength, and joy.

What is new and welcoming to me is that when I had walked through the situations listed above I had never been as overwhelmed by God’s presence as I am in this season. Don’t be mistaken, I am sad. My eyes burn from all of the crying that I have done this week. I mourn the loss of the dream of adopting this little girl. I mourn over my little Marty who will not understand where his best friend has gone. He only knows life with her by his side. I mourn over the fact that once again, Jason no longer has a daughter in the home. I mourn over Weiland as he wrestles through losing another sister. But! What I have learned over the last 6 months is that it is okay to mourn. It is okay to be sad. Sadness does not equal lack of trust in Jesus. Sadness is a normal reaction when we encounter hardships. It is what we do with that sadness that is powerful. For the first time in my life I have chosen to NOT let my sadness rob me of my joy. This choice has been life-changing. Maybe the most powerful choice that I have ever made in my life thus far.

Choosing joy isn’t always easy or enjoyable. But, always worth it. Before this season, I wasn’t good at choosing joy. I would choose donuts. I would choose yelling at loved ones. I would choose gossip. I would choose shopping. I would choose wallowing. I would choose victimizing. I would choose blaming. But, let me tell you, THOSE DAYS ARE OVER!! I am living proof that the joy of our HUGE, CAPABLE, and GOOD God is our strength!

What kind of season are you in right now? What kind of day did you have today? What if you would do a little experiment with me and throughout the days ahead intentionally choose joy, no matter what lemons are thrown your way? It doesn’t mean you can’t feel or be vulnerable. It doesn’t mean you can’t feel sadness or cry. What it means is you will choose joy in the midst of your pain. It won’t be easy at first or feel natural, but I promise you, IT WILL BE WORTH IT!

Are you up for it!?

Katie Mcgihon Photography