Weiland has always been a source of laughter, energy, and crazy smarts. He started crawling at 4 months, talking at 8 months, and taught himself how to swim at 2 years old. Because he is my oldest, I didn’t have first hand experience of what was normal or not. I would always have people tell me how smart he was or how busy he was, but I didn’t know any different so I would just smile and say, “Thank you.”
Weiland’s birth mom did meth amongst several other drugs while she was pregnant with him. We have always been told by doctors that if there weren’t any immediate effects at birth, they would probably surface once he entered school. At that time it is very common to see the signs of ADHD in children that have been exposed to meth in utero.
When Dubs was 3 years old we had him evaluated by an incredible licensed educational psychologist named, Brent Cooper. He spent so much time with us and Weiland. He was kind and patient and extremely knowledgeable. Because Weiland was only 3 years old, ALL BOY, and had just lost his foster sister, we all decided that it would be best to just watch him and then see how he did once he started Transitional Kindergarten.
Anyone who knows my Dubster, knows what life he brings into a room. He is the most confident and independent 5 year old that I have ever met. He is fearless. He is brave. He is hilarious and creative. He is stubborn. He is strong-willed. He never stops, unless he is sleeping 🙂
I can’t tell you how many tears I have shed over the feelings of failure, frustration, and discouragement over parenting this sweet boy.
Recently as Jesus has been speaking to me that my kids are the disciples that I need to focus on making, there has been a new excitement that has surfaced when it comes to parenting my kids. Especially Dubs, since he is older and interactive.
This month I decided that once a month we will go on a date, just Weiland and I. We will get dressed up and he will pick where he wants to go to dinner. We went a couple weeks ago and it was amazing. He talked about it ALL day. He picked out his clothes, showered, and made sure daddy helped him smell good for me. He then made up a song and sang it into my phone so that we would have a “date song”. He responded so positively to that date that I realized it needs to be regular. We have our next one scheduled for March 15th and he wants to go to Islands 🙂
I had his parent teacher conference yesterday. His teacher confirmed everything that I already knew..He is kind. He has a big heart. He is funny. He is confident. He is independent. He is a “genius” with the computers. He LOVES to talk. He has a short attention span. He is busy. His teacher and I got talking about ways to explore helping his energy level and attention span. We came up with an idea to experiment. I immediately left the conference to get him a bottle of Mountain Dew. You should have seen his face when he was told this morning that he got to have soda with his breakfast! 🙂 It worked! He didn’t get in trouble today! WHAT?! Mountain Dew to my 5 year old before he heads off to school calmed him down!? PRAISE JESUS! 🙂
All of us have different children. Even those of us with multiple children, they each have their own temperament. What works on one may not and will probably not work on the other. All I do know is that you know your child better than anyone. You know them better than your best friend, your parents, your siblings, and/or the lady judging you with an evil eye at Target while your child is having a melt down laying in the middle of the aisle. There is nothing that can replace a mother’s instinct. It can cause you to jump up and go check on your kid in the other room just as they are shoving a lego head up their nostril. We just know.
The next time you feel pressure about……
- Which school to put your kid in
- What kind of food to feed him/her
- When he/she should be sleeping through the night,
- How old they are potty trained
- If they are still using a pacifier or bottle,
- Why or why don’t you have a structured system in place
- Do they know their letters and colors
- Are they walking yet
- How many words do they know
Stop! Remember.. Momma knows! YOU know your child. As long as you love your babies and they are happy and well taken care of, you are good! Don’t let pressures steal your joy of being the best momma possible to the little ones God has entrusted you with! Live today, in the present. We are doing the best that we know how and Jesus will meet us in our inadequacies.
You were given your children. No one else, YOU are who God picked to raise you kids..Love yourself, shake the pressures off, and take your kid to Rite aid for the best ice cream cone on the planet 🙂