Sometimes I act like a 18 Month Old

It was about 16 years ago. I was babysitting my niece and she was thirsty. Being the brainiac that I am, I put orange juice WITH  pulp into a bottle. Now that I am a mom and 16 years wiser I would not give a baby orange juice that could potentially be too acidic. But more than anything, I would definitely use a strainer if I were to give a baby orange juice in a bottle.

I remember it had been about 30 minutes and she was still sucking away but the bottle was still just as full as it was when I first gave it to her. I took the bottle, well…wrestled the bottle out of her tight little grip, to examine as to why none of the juice was coming out. In the meantime she is screaming and then eventually flailing on the floor in a massive tantrum. I unscrewed the top and saw that the nipple was completely full of pulp. So, I cleaned it out and then used a strainer to put the juice in her bottle. I remember as I was cleaning it out, I muttered under my breath, “Hold on! I am just trying to make it better so that all of it will come out!”

Immediately, Jesus spoke to my heart, “These are the tantrums I’ve seen you throw when you don’t understand, the timing is off, or you want something that I may not be giving to you at the time that you want it.”

WOA! It was such a significant interaction with Jesus that it has stuck with me throughout the last 16 years.

The times that I cried,  begged, and threw a tantrum when the fertility treatments didn’t work only to find out that he was hand – picking out the most incredible little Shafer kids for me. Or that time that my dream college was way out of budget so I felt like I had to “settle” and I ended up meeting my husband where I attended! The times when I was the last of my single friends and I threw tantrums that my husband wasn’t in my life yet, only to find out that the man I eventually married was everything I had ever hoped or prayed for and for the first time ever I wasn’t settling. Or the time that I was in escrow on a house and it fell out and I threw a tantrum because “I really wanted that house!”, only to be able to buy the house a year later for $67,000 less. Or what about that time that I was so overwhelmed with anxiety and depression because we couldn’t find church to hire us for over a year and a half and it turned out that during this time of waiting,  God was healing my marriage and bringing us to a place where we would be hired by the most incredible church family that I have ever been a part of! Or one last example tantrum out of THOUSANDS, that time I lost my marbles when the adoption didn’t go through, only to find out that Jesus had created my Marty the month we lost Bella.

What about you? What are you throwing a tantrum about right now? Getting pregnant? A new job? A house? A spouse? A failed adoption? Finances? A new car? A move? A promotion?

It isn’t wrong to mourn or cry out of disappointment of how life is looking currently, but if we let the tantrums steal our joy and trust in Jesus than we miss out on so many blessings that are available in the midst of the storm or waiting period.

Jesus wants to take the good stuff we are praying for or pining after and exchange it for THE BEST. He wants to lavish on us in ways that we cannot ever fathom or imagine! He is a good daddy with good gifts!


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